MS. BEHAVING adores the bounding main, but bad behavior has, well, no class. Read on:
A READER WRITES: Our recent luxury cruise was sublime, save for a group that monopolized the poolside hot tub seemingly every minute of the day. What about the rest of us? Should we say anything?
MS. BEHAVING REPLIES: Hot tub hogs are a scourge upon the seas, and Ms. Behaving is always suspect of dipping in when they finally leave. So many cocktails! Such puckered skin and mirth! Such a challenge to the chlorine left in their wake! It is her experience that such entitled folks are deaf to civility or, worse, they want you to join their private party. Eeeeew! To avoid conflict on vacation when the tub is monopolized, instead make your own, more civil, party elsewhere. Repair to the onboard spa jacuzzi for relaxation. Be calm. Feel the healing waters. Cocktails are abundant elsewhere, as are nice people who actually wear clothes to drink them.
A READER WRITES: I have the same problem aboard a large ship as I do in exclusive beach resorts. After breakfast I want to go to the pool or beach and have a decent lounge chair, but all the “good” ones seem to be staked out with towels and bags at the crack of dawn! What’s a girl to do?
MS. BEHAVING REPLIES: The Lounge Chair Tango is always difficult. Ms. Behaving often wonders what makes one chair the good one and the other Siberia. More than that, she questions the motives of those who get up at the crack of dawn to grab a chair they don’t use until after lunch. Rude, rude, rude! You are not one of those people. You are better, as are Ms. Behaving’s followers. At some luxury resorts and ships, it may be possible to reserve chairs or cabanas. If that’s not offered, remember that lounge chairs can move. You are not obliged to be by the ice machine watching the napes of necks instead of the sea. On a ship, you may find a chair overlooking the mayhem. At a resort, you can move your little chair down the beach to a spot with a view. Never fear: in all these situations, the waiter will find you!
Have questions about etiquette, local or global travel customs or awkward moments on the road? Fear not! Ms. Behaving is ready to answer. Send your queries (putting "Ms. Behaving" in the subject line) .
Photo above: Ms. Behaving at Royal Ascot.